to sit alone in headphones, wired, preferably, half-caffeinated and over excited under a full moon, to just understand how lucky you are – its a story u cant tell, almost by definition, cant really share either. ive learned in real time to look at those things and realize, i just had a really good moment. the snarkiness and suspicion, the irony and doubt, disappear at least for a time. when for a moment you change.

so iced latte is what matters, really. not even the purpose, or ambition, or anguish of feeling like ure not enough, u flirt ur way into something, smiling giggling, give me this and i need that for something greater. when in reality, i dont. all i need is time, endless time a never ending piece of paper that would hug my life without cutting through my skin, leaving a nice bloody birthmark. i am urs u are mine i am urs u are mine. something along the lines of serenity.

im typing this to not only make sense of my third coffee, but to also pretend that im highly engaged with something via my computer in the office. i dont chatgpt, i dont i dont. im not lame, i actually think

click clack im working stop calling me im watching instagram reels.